Porn
How do you stop watching porn?
Short answer
To stop watching porn, learn what triggers your urges, make porn harder to reach, plan what you will do instead when an urge hits, and get support if you have tried before and struggled. Of the treatments studied, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has the most support so far, although a 2022 systematic review cautioned that the research is still limited and strong conclusions should be drawn carefully.
Key takeaways
- Decide what your goal is (stopping completely or cutting back) and why it matters to you.
- Notice the situations, moods and times of day that come before use; researchers call these risk situations.
- Add friction: filters, device rules and a plan for your highest-risk times.
- Line up specific activities to do instead, and practice ways to ride out cravings.
- CBT-based therapy has the most research support so far; online self-help shows early promise.
Should you quit completely or cut back?
Start by getting clear on what you want. Treatment research has not settled on one goal: a 2022 review of treatment studies found it was not always clear whether studies were aiming for full abstinence or controlled use. Choose the goal that fits your life and values, and write down your reason.
It also helps to be honest about where the distress comes from. Researchers have proposed that for many people, feeling addicted to porn is partly driven by moral incongruence, meaning a gap between their beliefs and their behavior. Wanting to change for that reason is valid. Knowing it can help a therapist choose the right approach, since that kind of distress calls for something different from a loss of control.
What triggers the urge to watch porn?
Triggers are different for everyone, so collect your own data for a week or two. Each time you feel an urge or watch porn, note the time, place, device, mood and what happened just before. Patterns usually show up quickly, such as late nights, boredom, stress, loneliness or being alone with a phone in bed.
Structured programs are built around the same idea. An online self-help program tested in a randomized trial included a module on identifying internal and external risk situations, and another on identifying triggers for cravings and learning strategies to reduce them.
How do you make porn harder to access and replace the habit?
Use what your trigger log shows to add friction at the moments that matter. None of these steps is a cure on its own, but together they give you a pause in which to choose differently.
- Turn on content filters or blockers, and consider letting someone else hold the password.
- Keep phones and laptops out of the bedroom, or charge them in another room overnight.
- Delete apps, bookmarks and accounts that lead you back to porn.
- Plan a specific alternative for your riskiest times: a walk, a shower, a call, exercise or leaving the room.
- When an urge hits, pause, breathe, and let the urge rise and fall without acting on it.
- Write a short plan for what you will do after a slip, so one lapse does not turn into several.
Does therapy help people stop watching porn?
Therapy is the best-studied option, but the research is young. A 2022 preregistered systematic review found 24 treatment studies, only four of them randomized controlled trials. It concluded there is first evidence for approaches such as CBT, with caution about how specific the effects are. Most programs combined psychoeducation, behavioral activation, work on thoughts, urge management, mindfulness and identifying values.
In a small randomized trial of 12 sessions of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) with 28 men, 54% had stopped completely by the end of treatment and 35% at three months. Nearly all participants belonged to one religious community, which limits how far the results apply. In a larger randomized trial, 137 men with hypersexual disorder who received 7 weeks of group CBT improved more than a waitlist group, and the gains held at 3 and 6 months.
Evidence for medication is limited. In one trial, people given a placebo improved about as much as people given an SSRI antidepressant. If you want professional help, a licensed therapist experienced in CBT or ACT is a reasonable place to start.
Can online self-help work?
Possibly, for some people. In a randomized trial of a six-week online program built on motivational interviewing, CBT and mindfulness, people who used the program reported less problematic use, less craving and more confidence in avoiding porn than a waitlist group. The authors called it only a first step: 89.4% of people in the program group dropped out, so the results may reflect those who stuck with it. If self-help is not enough after a genuine try, that is a good reason to add a therapist, not a sign of failure.
How Vow can help
Vow's onboarding asks about your triggers and toughest times to build a personalized quit plan, anchored to your own reason for quitting. When an urge hits, Craving Shield (Premium) guides you through a roughly 3-minute urge-surfing timer with breathing, and quick distraction games give you something else to do. Notifications are discreet, so sensitive habit names are not shown on your lock screen or watch face.
Sources
Each source below was read when this answer was reviewed. Open a source to see the passages the answer relies on.
Journal of Behavioral Addictions (Antons et al., 2022) — Treatments and interventions for compulsive sexual behavior disorder with a focus on problematic pornography use: A preregistered systematic reviewpmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
The current evidence indicates that treatment, especially CBT, could be effective. However, the specificity of treatment effects is questionable.
There is first evidence for the effectiveness of treatment approaches such as cognitive behavior therapy. However, strong conclusions on the specificity of treatments should be drawn with caution.
Overall 24 studies were identified. Four of these studies were randomized controlled trials.
It was not always clear whether full abstinence or a controlled use/behavior execution was the treatment aim.
integrating classical and new-wave CBT components such as psychoeducation, motivation, behavioral activation, cognitive restructuring, cue exposure/urge management, mindfulness, and identification of values or commitment
the study by Wainberg et al. (2006) in which individuals in the placebo control group showed similar reductions in symptom severity as compared to the group treated with a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor
Web-based self-help tool including six core modules developed to reduce PPU based on motivational interviewing, CBT, mindfulness, and wise social-psychological intervention techniques
Open the sourceArchives of Sexual Behavior (Grubbs, Perry, Wilt & Reid, 2019) — Pornography Problems Due to Moral Incongruence: An Integrative Model with a Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis (PubMed abstract)pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
pornography-related problems-particularly feelings of addiction to pornography-may be, in many cases, better construed as functions of discrepancies-moral incongruence-between pornography-related beliefs and pornography-related behaviors
Open the sourceJournal of Behavioral Addictions (Bőthe et al., 2021) — Hands-off: Feasibility and preliminary results of a two-armed randomized controlled trial of a web-based self-help tool to reduce problematic pornography usepmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
Identification of the internal and external risk situations that can lead to pornography use
The fourth module concentrated on identifying triggers for cravings and taught strategies to reduce cravings.
The intervention group reported significantly lower levels of PPU
pornography craving (P = 0.02, d = 0.40), and higher pornography avoidance self-efficacy (P = 0.001, d = 0.87) at the six-week follow-up
There were differential dropout rates (89.4% in intervention vs. 44.7% in control group)
The present study was only a first step in rigorous treatment studies for PPU, but the findings are promising and suggest that online interventions for PPU might help reduce PPU in some cases
Open the sourceBehavior Therapy (Crosby & Twohig, 2016) — Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Problematic Internet Pornography Use: A Randomized Trial (PubMed abstract)pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
This study compared a 12-session individual protocol of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) for problematic Internet pornography use to a waitlist control condition with 28 adult males
Complete cessation was seen in 54% of participants at posttreatment and at least a 70% reduction was seen in 93% of participants.
At the 3-month follow-up assessment, 35% of participants showed complete cessation, with 74% of participants showing at least 70% reduction in viewing.
all but 1 of whom were members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Open the sourceJournal of Sexual Medicine (Hallberg et al., 2019) — A Randomized Controlled Study of Group-Administered Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Hypersexual Disorder in Men (PubMed abstract)pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
Male participants (n = 137) diagnosed with HD, were randomized between 7 weeks of group-administered CBT (n = 70) and a waitlist control receiving the intervention after 8 weeks (n = 67).
These effects remained stable at 3 and 6 months after treatment.
Open the sourceNational Institute of Mental Health — Help for Mental Illnessesnimh.nih.gov
Call or text 988 or start a chat online to connect with a trained crisis counselor. The Lifeline provides 24-hour, confidential support to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.
Open the sourceNHS — Help for suicidal thoughtsnhs.uk
NHS 111 Call 111 – 24 hours every day Information: Samaritans – for everyone Call 116 123
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This page is general information, not medical advice, and it does not replace care from a qualified professional. If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number. Vow is not a medical service.